


deserve

by polkaprintpjs



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Introspection, POV Second Person, Suicidal Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27621154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polkaprintpjs/pseuds/polkaprintpjs
Summary: There's a flaw in your thinking. Substandard parts in a substandard mech with substandard thoughts.Where's the flaw?
Kudos: 7





	deserve

You’ve been thinking it over. 

You’re not generally one to  _ obsess, _ really, but that’s what you’ve been doing. The facts are pretty stark, though. 

Cyclonus doesn’t need you anymore, not now that he’s wrapped up in his boo’s arms- or the other way around, really. ‘Gate’s a little small to be the big spoon... Anyway. 

Thinking it over.

It’s still the same problem as before the quest, the problem of  _ you. _

You had your try at the civilian’s life, and it hadn’t worked out. You could try again. That’s what Ratchet says, every time you cross paths. 

You could try again, find new friends and a new job- it wouldn’t even be difficult, not with the rebuilding. 

But it wouldn’t last. 

That’s the down low, as Swerve likes to say. You’d tried a civilian job and lost your hands for it. You’d tried friends and they’d ditched the nanosec they didn’t need you. 

And let’s not kid yourself here, that shiny peacetime job would last about as long as it took for someone to sneer your way. So. 

No job and no friends. 

You’re not sure when friends became part of your calculations but that’s probably part of what Rung liked to call  _ potential growth. _

What growth does he expect, exactly? It was a nice little interlude, sure, but it’s not like  _ you _ could keep it up. 

Friends, hah. See, that’s the thing. 

Every time you turn this over in your substandard processor you get the same answer and every time you know, you  _ know _ there’s a flaw in the logic. 

The answer is pretty simple. No reason to stick around and every reason to make sure no one else has to deal with your fuckups.

Where’s the flaw? 

Another angle, maybe. If you’re gone you can’t be used and dragged into the next, inevitable war. They’d try. There’s no way they wouldn’t try, you’re the perfect stooge. The perfect blunt tool to repurpose into a whipping boy. 

Prowl, Optimus, Starscream. Funny how the biggest threats are the ones you’re supposed to trust, innit. Some things just don’t change. 

If you don’t want to stall, no way out but through,then you can’t let that happen. Practically a public service, honestly, if you squint. 

That line of thought still niggles, an itch that says wrong  _ wrong  _ **_wrong._ **

Where’s the flaw? 

What are you missing? Why does it matter, when you’re meant to destroy and you want to die? It’s kind of fitting, really. What better use of honed destruction than to turn it on itself? You’re so very good at it, after all. 

Where’s the flaw? 

**Author's Note:**

> on tumblr @megatronismegagone


End file.
